Christmas Competition -- Make the Geek Laugh

[The Geek]

Here is the Xmas giveaway Geek style.

Whoever makes me laugh the most between now & Xmas on this thread gets a free lifetime subscription to The Toy. { Everyone who enters gets a free annual subscription for 2010. :D }

The Rules
1. No Maddie gags.
2. No Gary Glitter, Michael Jackson or topics along these lines.
3. One entry per person.
4. Entries may be written, pictures, or video. They don't have to be your own work, they just have to make me laugh my ass off.

I reserve the right to amend the rules should some sick puppy get carried away.

Let the fun begin.

[rockaren]

In breaking news, Racing Traders today employed a new security guard for it's HQ.


http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p222/mickmick_photo/pandadog.jpg



Btw, I think 1st poster should also get lifetime subscription :D

[BettingSherlock]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EatF_ar6dvM

well, you asked for it

[johnsmith]

dont know much about the ST history and your competition TG, but my interpretation goes something like this :

RT before....RT currently....RT future

[J.S.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XINEcxN6bXs&feature=related

[Temujin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X1VIyZe3Ws&feature=related

Watched this probably 100 times, and it still brings tears to the eyes..... rotflmfao

[goccia]

The monkeys make me laugh very much every time...

p.s. watch the video until the end :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZYW-eUPv2g

[Rod Flanders]

Lee Evans, Parcel Force

If you havent watched this you must, it's sooooooooooooooo funny!!

:D:D

Bad Language Warning!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4rSXqYjNGo

[Manic Trading]

No matter how many times I watch this it always makes me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIutgtzwhAc

[johnsmith]

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/movie-uk-d96f1a5eef86ea6b680f7f63b273e90f.html




http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/movie-uk-215d54e7accf931dd6da17a621271157.html

:eek:

[Knight Rider]

Lee Evans, Parcel Force

If you havent watched this you must, it's sooooooooooooooo funny!!



Bad Language Warning!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4rSXqYjNGo

Very funny:D



Used to do the prepaid envelope thing myself........not sh1t obviously:cool: but other stuff. Its only when you send the envelope back they get charged for it so it was always worth a laugh:D. If they wanna waste time in my day opening up their cr@p i feel obliged to return the favour;)

[outrunred]

www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com

I love this site

[Rod Flanders]

My sister sent me this last night and I had to post it!!!

only 1 entry allowed, so this is just for u all to hear

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj2oXMdZ4sk&feature=PlayList&p=5829A5AFE0B64004&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=4

[justatic]

Please follow instructions to laugh out loud.

http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to/video/how-to-laugh-away-your-abs-257848/

Merry xmas:D

[nigelbleddfa]

Only in Thailand !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzUa0xQ9Pi8

[The Geek]

Only in Thailand !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzUa0xQ9Pi8

Do you have a copy of Fly Fishing by J.R Hartley?

[Fatboy]

Two radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you.'

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?' How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'

[winehouse]

Sorry for my outrageous confidence, but I think this will win.

The perfect joke by the perfect raconteur

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/?bcpid=4464161001&bctid=19980405001

[nigelbleddfa]

I sent him a joke just after Christmas last year and he was kind enough to wish me and my family a Happy NewYear in his reply. Saturday's Racing Post is a lesser thing without him. I always bought it when he had his column. Now, just a couple of times a month.

[catweazle]

Not everybody's (breakfast)taste.
http://failblog.org/2009/12/16/dog-fail/

[driss]

http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/6894/28e44c2365cb221e.jpg

:p

..........

[jibiko]

http://i46.tinypic.com/33m20wz.jpg

[PFY]

One of the all-time best, but reckon it won't win as I know TG has already seen it. Still, seems the best place to put jokes up.

uujHjU60-2s

Hey, finally sussed how to put youtube vids on here.

[attheraces]

One of the all-time best, but reckon it won't win as I know TG has already seen it. Still, seems the best place to put jokes up.

uujHjU60-2s

Hey, finally sussed how to put youtube vids on here.

He was one of the best joke tellers in the industry,great loss.

Regards

[hairycornflakes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X1VIyZe3Ws&feature=related

Watched this probably 100 times, and it still brings tears to the eyes..... rotflmfao

thats amazing :-)

[raikon]

CVBQhiLBw7Q

Please watch this... It's so funny ! Sorry to Man U fans. No offense :)

[alonso]

RM_TbJWpKLk


Very Funny Mascotte ~~

[westerner]

my favourite sketch....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOun2I5I_co

[dww]

Still makes me chuckle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUabDrfjATY

[mbb]

At the end of an evening, in which there was much spilt blood in the ring and much drink taken by the various journalists and VIPs, I overheard one of the local worthies (Cyril somebody I think), say to his neighbour: "OK, let's see if I can get Freud home safely this time."

Next time I bumped into Cyril I asked him to explain. It turned out that at the previous tournament he had been a passenger in Freud's car. His driving (in those days before breathalyser tests) was more than erratic, and at a roundabout he blatantly cut up another driver.

The angry driver sped after them, overtook, forced Freud to a halt and appeared, red-faced, at the window. After a torrent of swearing at Freud, who remained silent throughout, he screamed: "Didn't you see I had my hand out?"

"Yes, I did," said Freud. "And I noticed that your fingernails were exceedingly dirty".

Merry Christmas,

mbb

[kawasaki]

found on bf forum someday

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
question: Can you click and win ?


Brodie 17 Dec 04:44
you know what i mean
set parameters using a trading tool ,no reading form bowlocks and make cash?
Y?N



Get me a drink 17 Dec 11:06
Don't know, but you can definitely click and lose.



thistimenextyear.... 17 Dec 13:03
Ask your dad over at horse racing,it's that easy dont you know



MANCHESTERSKYTRAIN 17 Dec 13:23
about six months ago i left a race up for yarmouth while i got some gardening stuff out of the garage for the wife, my 4yo son went into the room where i do my betting and went click happy on all the custom boxes, made about 20 or 30 bets on differing boxes, i got back and nearly had a heart attack some horses big greens others massive reds, spent about 5 minutes trying to reverse all the bets in the end having to take a loss of around £40 to tidy it all up, if i had left it or come back from the garden toop late for the race my son would have made over £3k with his random clicks, was gutted but to be honest i didn't have the b0ll0x to keep the reds he had especially as they were mainly on the fancied horses.



page-413 17 Dec 13:52
^ great story



Safebet Jimmer 17 Dec 14:06
please could i have your sons email address?



TameTheTiger 17 Dec 16:49
When will your son be starting his tipping line please ?



brendanuk1 17 Dec 18:50
will the ebook be out soon?



MANCHESTERSKYTRAIN 17 Dec 23:22
i don't think he had a strategy tbh, he was clicking the custom boxes and 5 of them are lays at 7 and lower only 3 horses were lower than the price so he could only get those ones laid, he also did a good few backs on varios horses and an outsider won so under those circumstances it was a foolproof win win situation for him, unfortunately his daft d1ck of a dad put it all 'right' and fooked up his masterplan



u want some 17 Dec 23:27
He is going to be a gambling genius

[Ark Royal]

What do you call a Mexican Peeping Tom?

Senor Minge

[TheSurgeon]

BT4.6 troubleshooter in action

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec2ULnESS30

Thanks TG and Merry Christmas (even if this doesn't win).:)

[Rod Flanders]

when is TG anouncing the winner?

today?

[Firkinelle]

when is TG anouncing the winner?

today?

Doubt it, remember he said

"My missus says I'm not allowed to play with my computer at all between 24th & 28th December."

[jimmy]

This is funny brother

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDQwQGzMTKc

[sidney]

this is funny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiWgcRZlKy8&feature=related

[Cursors]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5utqi_QtRU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SMFyVURrkI&feature=channel

[Sekani]

These always make me curl up:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IBgk05iL3Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUpBTVilhzY

Happy Christmas :)

[Crazeewon]

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

[tomas.tomass]

I like those russians :cool:

http://www.mojevideo.sk/video/4fdf/takto_sa_pije_v_rusku.html

[doubleback]

I reckon TG will appreciate this one!! (http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p.html)

[The Geek]

Well after a very close run competition I decided to go with this one as it received the most thanks from the community.


RM_TbJWpKLk


Very Funny Mascotte ~~

Thanks to all that took part.

doubleback, found yours most amusing too, so you can have a runner up prize of a free annual sub. :rolleyes:

Should I ever charge for The Toy one day in the distant future, remind me at the time you both won this competition. Lets hope I haven't gone senile by then. D

[alonso]

Well after a very close run competition I decided to go with this one as it received the most thanks from the community.

Thanks to all that took part.

doubleback, found yours most amusing too, so you can have a runner up prize of a free annual sub. :rolleyes:

Should I ever charge for The Toy one day in the distant future, remind me at the time you both won this competition. Lets hope I haven't gone senile by then. D



:D i won? hard to believe it... Anyway, thanks to GeeksToy for the competition and software is really amazing too.

[raikon]

:D i won? hard to believe it... Anyway, thanks to GeeksToy for the competition and software is really amazing too.

Congrats, Alonso :)
It's really funny... the mascot :D